Spam poetry

S. Beckett (photo: Festival Paris Beckett)

S. Beckett (photo: Festival Paris Beckett)

I’ve just explored the spam filter on the dashboard of this blog for the first time; I’m amazed by some of the peculiar, poetic messages WordPress helpfully commit to the spam bin.  There’s this, for example:

Undeniably imagine that you said. Your favourite justification

seemed to be at the internet the easiest factor to be
aware of.  I say to you, I definitely get annoyed

 while other folks think about issues

 that they plainly do not recognize about.
You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest as smartly as defined out the whole
thing with no need side-effects , folks can take a signal.
Will likely be again to get more. Thank you

I’ve used this configuration because it seems to me a found poem.  I rather like ‘folks can take a signal’: sounds like something out of Richard Ford.

Richard Ford (photo: Guardian newspaper)

Richard Ford (photo: Guardian newspaper)

‘To hit the nail upon the highest’ mashes up the cliché and reinvents it as something that sounds biblical.   The fractured syntax is reminiscent of Beckett’s dramatic prose.  The website linked to the comment is for a spamming ‘make money online’ organisation, so I presume this message was generated by some automatic random algorithm – surely corresponds, therefore, to what Breton and the surrealists advocated in all creative writing…They’d have enjoyed the internet and its infinite capacities.

Here’s another found spam piece:

As that faculty uniforms rather monotonous, fail to replicate temperament, the provincial capital some middle school students began to wear shoes on the “rivalry”, like “your shoes are the generations”, turning into a hot topic once-school exchanges. Reporter 21, learned that some students the value of a combine of air max 90 shoes up to 5,00 zero yuan.

This appears (from the link given by WordPress) to be from a Chinese website promoting sports shoes; maybe it too is mechanically translated, but like the example above it has a weirdly pleasing resonance.

Another piece that looks to be translated by machine (I’ve modified punctuation slightly):

I’m at about 203-208lbs give or take what I ate. Sick weigh tomorrow and make it specified.  Nowadays is clear working day one for me.  I hope to be down 13lbs by may possibly fifth which happens to be 5 weeks.  Somewhat over 2lbs each week, but I believe I’m able to get it done.  I’m kickboxing and zi xiu tang bee pollen pillslifting. I want to be down to 160lbs from the middle of sept, 25weeks away.

This could be an interior monologue from any number of recent novels by writers in their twenties or thirties; there’s a Joycean neologism, ‘pillslifting’, which neatly links the registers of pharmacology and physical fitness, which is presumably what this spammer peddles.

Finally, here’s an extract from what looks like a site promoting expensive shoes for women (the ones with the shiny red soles – shoes, that is, not women):

particularly binaural beats become desirable among players, businesses, and those functioning to their personal development and/or religious brain express.

The plosives in the first phrase and the loose, paratactic syntax give a satisfying whiff of Ginsberg.  There’s a hint of the cut-up technique of William Burroughs here, too.

photo: the Allen Ginsberg Project blog

photo: the Allen Ginsberg Project blog

I love the internet.